The joy of stating the obvious

I can’t stop thinking about one particular song lately. The song is called “Obvious” and it’s a cut song from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. The song starts with a simple statement from the main character: “When we know something is true beyond question or doubt/ there’s no particular point in pointing it out…it’s something you don’t need to hear. It’s just clear.” This is a trap that I fall into all the time. Someone’s good qualities seem so obvious to me that I don’t say anything to the person because I don’t want to embarrass them or waste their time.

And so, I never tell them my friend how I love watching their eyes light up when they tell me about what they’re interested in. I never tell my professor that the way he cracks up at his own jokes makes my day. I never tell my other professor that the way he winks at me after saying something clever reminds me of my late Grandpa, that it feels like he’s right beside me again, if only for that moment. I never tell my friend that the few extra seconds she puts into a hug make all the difference. 

I neglect to tell the people in my life how much I cherish all the little things we do for each other, every day, sometimes without even realizing we’re doing it. The song echoes this when, after listing his crush’s endearing habits, Evan says: “sometimes the words we tend to withhold, well, they’re exactly the words someone needs to be told/ but oh, thinking they know, we never say I love you.”

Our culture tells us to reserve this kind of thing for romantic partners, but we miss out on so much if we limit ourselves like that. We miss out on the chance to tell people about what makes them who they are. The half smiles, the small eyebrow raises, the silly walks, all these small things that as much a part of them as their face or voice. These are the small things that remind us why we love them.

So today, I’m going to be a little more brave. I’m going to say the obvious thing because that might just be what someone needs to hear today. It might not be much, but that’s okay. Moments like that are tiny lanterns, not noticeable most of the time, but just bright enough when the lights go out. Maybe, just maybe, the light will be enough to help them see themselves when they need it most.

P.S. Here's a link to the song in case anyone is curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01--GmFBnls